“I’ve read a lot of books about communication skills, so most of the ideas weren’t new to me, but I like how you illustrated them with personal stories. You did a good job of showing how to apply your concepts in real-life situations.”

-Steve Pavlina, author of Personal Development for Smart People

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If you’re reading this, you’re probably curious about our book, The Usual Error. So here’s what makes this book great, and spiffier than other books on communication.

It’s based on real-world experience that actually works.

It’s not some psychologist’s opinion on how communication ought to work. It’s two real live people’s experience of how communication does work. Every technique in this book is one we learned ourselves, often the hard way – by misunderstanding each other over and over again until we figured out what was going wrong. Each time we figured out something new, we’d write it down and put it in the book.

It will stick in your head and improve your life.

Most books on communication are full of the authors talking at you, with a little bit of made-up stilted-sounding dialogue thrown in for good measure. But that’s not how people learn best. That sort of book is likely to make you read it, say, “Hmm, that was good,” and then go back to communicating the way you did before. That’s not our goal with this book. We want to teach you useful and awesome things that will make your communication (and your life!) better.

Some people learn best from explanations, some learn best from stories, and some learn best visually. Generally, people learn best from a combination of different methods. In every single chapter, in addition to explaining a communication technique that can help you in some way, we’ll also tell you a story or two about how it helped us in our life, and we’ll show you an illustration of the concept to help you hold an image of it in your mind. (All the pictures on this page are illustrations from the book.)

But that isn’t what’s really important. What’s really important is that we honestly want to help you. We want to help you learn to communicate more effectively, how to get rid of needless conflict from your life, how to make your relationships smoother, and how to generally be happier. That’s the reason we wrote this book. We hope it works amazingly for you, and we’ll be rooting for you from over here!

What people are saying about The Usual Error

“[V]aluable — and not so common — communication information… well-written, easy to understand…”

Writer’s Digest

“I just neglected my children and husband to sit in the bathtub and read [The Usual Error] in one sitting. I loved it and I think a lot of the stuff would be very useful with our clients.”

-Priscilla B. Faulkner, Psy.D.

“A powerful practical easy-to-read book on avoiding communication problems. Simply brilliant.”

-Hildy Gottlieb, author of The Pollyanna Principles

“Before reading The Usual Error I thought I was a pretty good communicator, I had read books like Non-Violent Communication and The 5 Love Languages. What I didn’t know was that I kept making the usual error!”

-Nathalie Lussier, Raw Foods Witch

“I have begun digging into your book and am amazed at how open and sharing you are in the book – I have already learned so much – I can already tell it is one of those books that you will refer to again and again!”

-Pam Lewis, Director, Blue Ridge Entrepreneurial Council

“Great information about communication in relationships!”

-Bobbi Palmer of Date Like A Grownup

“I bought a copy of The Usual Error to send back with my son, who was visiting from Utah. He spent the three hour flight reading it and when he got home, found out from a co-worker that his best friend had started a relationship with a girl that he liked. He had planned on spending that evening with both of them, and kept asking, ‘so what did you do while I was gone, anything new happen’, and both of them avoided the subject and wouldn’t talk with him.

He said the chapter on physical anger and the words got him thinking and he realized how his physical anger was growing. (In the past he has hit walls, to the point where he broke his hand last summer.) He was able to feel that instead of ignore it until he just acted on it.

And in the conversation he had with me when he called that night he was so excited to be understanding of his friends and himself, and he said that would have never happened if he hadn’t read the book. He also felt OK about being angry and feeling a bit betrayed, but also happy for them that they are together, because he really thinks this friend is a good guy.

I was very proud of him, and mostly want to thank you for writing the book in such a way that a 19 year old could read it and enjoy it and also use the concepts without feeling like it was some kind of psycho-babble!

He said that this book was amazing, and that it helped him through a potential big problem, where he could have acted in such a way to lose his friends.

Thanks so much! It has made me Really, Really Happy!”


“[Pace and Kyeli] highlight, in short, easily digestible chunks, some of the best ideas out there, and they make those ideas their own with stories from their lives and with little gems that stick in your mind. They take good ideas and make them better.”

-Dr. Tammy Lenski of Conflict Zen

“[The Usual Error] is very, very helpful for all kinds of people who might wish to be better communicators. By using personal examples, you never talk down to the reader. That’s a special gift.”

-Judy Vorfeld, writer and editor

“To be honest, I’m a little surprised I liked the book as much as I did. I tend to find discussions about communication very dry and, dare I say, exceedingly boring. (I mean, talking about talking. Blech!)

The book, however, is very charmingly illustrated (by some guy named Martin Whitmore who is the man) and it is totally engaging. (Did I mention Martin Whitmore illlustrated a pile of poop? And made it hilarious??)

Good times.”

-Hayden Tompkins of Through The Illusion

“Having dabbled in learning about communication for the better part of ten years, most of the phenomena in the book were familiar to me. What I loved about the book, though, was that it gives names, illustrations and explanations to previously fuzzy and/or complicated phenomena.”

-Sari O. of Insightings

“I’d be surprised if anyone could read this book and NOT get something out of it. It’s not just well-written, but the illustrations are amazing. The stories, the break-down of how-to and why and real life situations are simple, clear and easy to follow. I learned – oh….about 10 things I didn’t know before. I’ve never gotten so many helpful tips out of ONE book.

As a self-help junkie with years of therapy under my belt, I confess, I wasn’t so sure there’d be anything here I hadn’t heard before…but there was. The very issues I’ve been struggling with and that weren’t resolving – the solutions were all here.

You may be in a different place than I am, but as a seasoned therapy junkie….this is the most practical advice….and so easy to read….This has to be one of the next best sellers….it’s that good.”

-Becky Blanton of RSB Publishing

“I am so blown away by The Usual Error. Seriously. I am not even going to try to capture how many doors it has unlocked in my head, but you guys have a gift, and you’ve shared it with me and I’m so very grateful.”

-Kelly Kingman of Sticky eBooks

(There are more reviews on Amazon, too!)

Buy The Usual Error book

Buy on Amazon.com
(Or buy on amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca, amazon.fr, amazon.de, or amazon.co.jp)